May 6, 2008

  • This is what I come back with...

    ...it sucks not knowing what you're doing when it comes to other people. 


    I always feel like I'm in a state of constant confusion.  Why can't everything just be spelled out for me so I don't feel like an idiot loser?  Somtimes I just want to end the confusion and have some of my questions answered to the very last detail.  Life is never that easy though.  If it was, I'd definitely be at ease.  I feel like my head is spinning and my insides are emptied out in front of me.  I can't believe that this has to be the inspiration for my latest blog. It seems like this blog and my feelings are interconnected. I can't have a single moment that requires me to spill my feelings out without coming on here to share. The funny part, I can't even share my feelings with the person I should be telling this stuff to.


    I get so frustrated at times and we all know what happens...I give up. Maybe I am an idiot loser. Or maybe it's not just me? I hope it's not just me.  I'm pretty sure if I had some slight indication of what other people thought that I would feel assured and confident about the feelings I do have.  I wouldn't be so scared all the time. I wouldn't think that what I feel would be an inconvenience. I don't want to impose my feelings on other people. A friend of mine told me that it wouldn't be a bad thing if I did because then I'd know where I stand. Maybe she's right. (I should probably tell her "Thank you" a thousand times because she's always telling me to do the right thing whether I like to admit it or not.)


    So yeah...I'm going to be pensive now...